Making, as in life, is not black and white

Embracing the grays in creativity

Dec 02, 2022

Happy Friday, all. Today - a little motivational piece. I write these from time to time to remind myself of something I need to embrace more consistently. Perhaps you’ll get a little something good out of it too. ~JRC

It's an easy trap to fall into - all-or-nothing thinking. If you are a conservative, and I a liberal, we cannot be friends. If I don't have time to brush my teeth well, I shouldn't brush at all. If I win, you lose. These and many others are examples of black-and-white thinking. But despite our inclinations, the world doesn't work this way. There are gray areas between any two polar opposites. And it is here where much of life resides.

People across the political spectrum are makers, for example. And even if I don't vote the same way as you, I hope we can still share the thrill of our common interest. And everyone knows that a little goes a long way with teeth brushing (just don't skip the good scrub most days). And as for winning and losing? Even in a sports competition, where winning does mean someone else "losing," there is still the thrill of the game and the joy of competing again another day. Indeed, life is full of gray, and if we embrace it, there is much more life to live.

As for making, it exists almost entirely in the gray.

Making better than someone else should rarely be the goal. Instead, make to make, and let the accomplishment speak for itself. The result could be fantastic, a complete fail, or (most likely) somewhere in between. And that's okay - at least you are creating.

And what about that inevitable maker fail? When an attempted job goes sideways, and you are left with a pile of wasted material. Sure it stings, but it's not a complete failure. Look at all that was learned. At least you know what not to do next time. And as they say, a bad day in the shop is better than a good day at work. (Unless, of course, your job is in a shop, then disregard the aforementioned truism.)

I know this is a bit optimistic. Failure hurts, and it often feels pretty definite when it happens. It's hard to see that proverbial silver lining when sitting atop a failed build. But that's the whole point of this little diatribe - we must consciously remind ourselves that there is much more to life than absolutes. It's a brain trap to do otherwise and an easy one to fall into. So it's imperative to find ways to tell ourselves, "there's more to this than win or lose, succeed or fail."

My strategy? Over the years, I've learned that "counting to ten" helps. We let the sting of our mistakes soften when we take a moment before reacting. The big picture comes back into focus, and we create time to realize this is not a live-or-die event. Of course, I fail at this occasionally (okay, more like often). But after a little outburst in frustration, I collect myself, assess the situation, and quickly pick up the pieces and move on. In all but the worst cases, there is much wiggle room to get back on track.

And that is the beauty of gray. When we acknowledge it and learn to live within it, there are so many possibilities. Instead of two outcomes - win or fail, do or die - we have an expanse of opportunities to keep making and keep on creating.

I like keeping my options open, and I expect you do too. So embrace the gray, and live to make another day.

Until next time.

JRC