Be nice. Period.
A re-sharing of "Make nice already"
All - for today’s story, I’m re-sharing an account I wrote back in May about an irate commenter on my YouTube channel. I thought about this incident recently while reading through the hate-inducing vitriol on Twitter, a lot of which is now instigated by its new owner and CEO, the [formerly] richest man in the world. I’ve subsequently deleted my Twitter account after about three years of befuddlement on this polarizing platform.
Nothing good seems to come from social media, tenuous online friendships notwithstanding. To be honest, I worry about the fate of humanity and where we are going. As our lives become entangled, estranged, and hyper-accelerated in the digital age, it’s anyone’s guess what comes next. All I know is that if we can’t be kind to one another, IRL and online, all is lost. ~JRC
Make nice already
Hate is not the answer - an example
First published May 20th, 2022
I recently received a scathing comment on my YouTube channel. It was from an irate viewer who disagreed with a tape measure recommendation I made. Yes, the guy was up in arms over a tape measure. He started his comment with, "Terrible!" And it went south from there.
He declared my tape of choice was junk and indirectly questioned my knowledge. To him, I was leading people astray. He then recommended a brand that was, in his eyes, leagues better. Mind you, it was hard to discern this. His comment mostly read like a troll doing what trolls do.
But I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and look up the brand and model he "recommended." It turns out it's a good tape measure (based on all the positive reviews). Granted, the one I recommended has good reviews too, but still, he wasn't wrong. At least not about his preferred tape measure.
At this point, I had basically three choices on what to do next:
Ignore him, given that it was trollish behavior, and, as we all know, trolls feed off anything we give them.
Lash out in return – fight fire with fire.
Respond thoughtfully and with kindness.
I chose number three.
"Taking the high road" wasn't easy. But instead of giving him "what for," I thanked him for the recommendation and mentioned I would give it a try. I ended by commenting on his tone and wrote, "good advice need not be delivered with such vitriol."
Soon, he replied.
It turns out the guy wasn’t a troll, at least not in the traditional internet sense. Instead, he admitted to being an a** (his word) and shared he had reasons - something about all the bad advice out there and that he knew better. It was an attempted apology. He did thank me for hearing him out. Honestly, I appreciate that he tried.
Mostly though, I feel sad for him. And us all. His angst stems from any number of problems that many others share. I certainly have my hangups. We all face untold obstacles, and things are only getting harder. With each setback, our collective anger grows. And inevitably, some lash out, and not always at what is really angering them.
Rising costs, decreasing opportunities, divisive cultures, and growing uncertainty – these are challenging times. It’s no wonder tempers flare. But the thing is, attacking someone to make a point NEVER helps. No matter the subject. Ever.
Despite what we see time and again all over social media and in politics, hate is not the answer – for small matters or big ones. Hate never wins. Lashing out only divides us - no matter how "right" one may be.
We all have to do better if we want to see better things in this world.
Until next time.
JRC